Day 151
The past few days have been tough. Frustrations at work. The pantry and fridge in need of restocking. Temperatures in the 90s.
My patience has been thin. I’m feeling overwhelmed. Thinking too much about all that my kids are missing. Developing that gaping ache in my core.
These days, when I leave my phone unattended, my kids swoop in and take photos and videos. When I come to discover them — minutes, hours, a day later — I can do nothing but smile.
The kids are all right. They are missing out on all that they had looked forward to. And they are all right.
I am trying to be all right. I am glad to be employed. To be able to house and feed my family. I am glad to be able to take next week off, even though any anticipated camping trip is not going to come to fruition. I am glad for the new sneakers that I was able to buy last week so that my feet are more comfortable as I log more and more miles each day.
We’ve all been staying up too late, especially with the return of sports. Right this second, as I sit on my bed listening to music and the hum of the window air conditioner, my son and partner are in the other room watching a hockey game that is in it’s fourth overtime. “It’s the longest hockey game in history,” I hear my son yell, even through the music and hum. The Bruins game, which is the one he had been looking forward to watching is not likely to start before 10 p.m.* Last night, he watched a Red Sox game that went almost five hours.
He has the time.
But we are tired. Or, I am.
The other night at about 9 p.m., when I was about to settle into bed with a book, I yelled upstairs that the kids should “go to bed before midnight tonight.” No complaints in return.
The next morning, my daughter told me that she “accidentally read until page 94” in her book before turning off the light at “exactly midnight.”
She’s 11.
Is there anything better than “accidentally” reading too long?
In a month school will begin again, and that suggestion of midnight will need to become something closer to a 9:30 bedtime.
Late last week, the school committee voted, 9-1, for a remote start (through November 3) for our school district. I haven’t looked at any of the details yet, in terms of actual schedules, class times, how the girls will enter new “schools” without leaving their homes. When will we pick up the issued Chromebooks? Will they need any actual school supplies?
I do plan to purchase wifi extenders for our home. And I feel lucky to be able to do so. I have been told to expect to work from home at least through the end of 2020. Our Zooming is sure to overlap, with four of us relying on technology for our daily responsibilities.
Sometimes I literally stop what I am doing and think, “What is this life?”
The numbers:
More than 20 million people worldwide have contracted COVID-19
More than 5 million of those are in the U.S.
U.S deaths total nearly 165,000
Worldwide deaths exceed 738,000
But today’s biggest news, which I received while I was at BJs, filling my cart with food that will be consumed in the blink of an eye, is that Joe Biden named Kamala Harris as his choice for VP.
For the first time since November 2016 I feel a glimmer of hope for our future as a country. It’s hard to feel hopeful. It’s an unfamiliar feeling. Things are just so awful. The news is bad every day. Devastation. Despair. Uncertainty. A leader who does nothing but destroy.
But with the news of a completed democrat ticket, I feel I can count down the days until Election Day, and I feel hope that there are enough other glimmers of hope and voters counting down that we can vote our current president out of office.
I can’t bear to think of what will happen if we don’t.
Stay safe, everyone.
*The game was postponed until 11 a.m. tomorrow. I’ll be working with headphones on.