Friday, April 3
The last eight books I’ve read.
I am not the person who is going to pull my family together to perform a parody of a musical. I am not the person who is going to challenge my children to make a Rube Goldberg machine out of all of the miscellany in our house. I am not the person who will structure my children’s days for them so that it “feels” like they are still in school.
I am the person who will write. Who will cook dinner each night, trying to make everyone’s favorites — including my own — regularly.
I am the person who will check in on the people in my house throughout the day.
I am the person who will read. Books and newspapers and blog posts and news feeds.
I am the person who will count the days, one at a time, and feel what I feel when I feel it.
Today, deaths in New York City is at nearly 3,000, doubling in three days.
Today, I had only two Zoom meetings.
Today, I went for a walk in the park, shorter than usual because of the threat of rain.
Today, I made potato leek soup in the Crock-Pot for dinner. And French bread in the bread maker. And when there was a spill I yelled, and the child was upset and I was upset and it was just a spill but patience is thin and I apologized. We were both sad. Maybe we both are still sad.
Today is Friday. Again. We drank a glass of wine, the adults in the house, like we do on some Fridays when we don’t have to do the ballet carpool home at 7:30 p.m. I wish I had to do the ballet carpool. I would drive there and I would drive back. Maybe I would stay at the studio, sit in the waiting area, chat with all of the other families.
Today the Centers for Disease Control formally recommended wearing cloth face masks when going out in public. I cannot imagine wearing a face mask, in public or otherwise.
The first 13 books I read in 2020.
I find comfort in books. Even just looking at them. By including images of the books I’ve read this year I feel accomplished. Useful. Productive. These are hard feelings to come by these days. So I will keep looking at these book covers and I will keep reading.
Stay safe, everyone.