Coconut curry with veggies. No leftovers.
Day 47
The food we eat and when we eat it continues to be a constant marker of how we spend our days. On Tuesday, just before noon, I made brunch: challah bread French toast. Yum. Later, for dinner I made a coconut red curry sauce with veggies and rice. I found some naan in the freezer. The kids had raspberry, chocolate-chip brownies — made yesterday by the oldest — and ice cream for dessert. I had two chocolate chip cookies — made the day before by the girls. It’s been more than a week since I went grocery shopping, and we have plenty of food.
Yesterday it didn’t rain. The kids played ladder ball and corn hole outside — both recent birthday gifts. I sat outside for a few minutes in the middle of the day between meetings and work emails and lists of other things that need doing.
Today it didn’t rain. The kids played basketball and tag. Two went on a bike ride. One did a Zoom ballet class while I did a Zoom yoga class. I went for a walk.
I have become grateful for the exercise of making dinner. Some nights I still dread it, my general approach pre-pandemic. Now, though, it is the one routine that brings all of us together. I head into the kitchen with my audiobook and take my time preparing a meal. We eat, we watch Jeopardy! or an episode of Designated Survivor or Brooklyn Nine Nine. There is dessert, dishes, and then I generally retreat. I get cranky at the end of the day. I just want silence. The children are, meanwhile, riled. Impatient. Facing another day of nothing different. They wrestle and play loudly, so so loudly, and all I want is quiet, calm. To be able to write, yes, but also just to not feel every atom of every being stirring around the house. I want to experience time settling. I want to ease into the nighttime, allow myself to find some stillness inside. It’s very difficult to reach the state of stillness when there are pillows flying in the other room.
Tonight I was short with my kid when he came in to say goodnight. I just couldn’t put a smile on my face for him. It’s hard to be accessible to everyone all the time, and that’s how I often feel or how I am often treated. I’m not sure there’s a distinction these days, with all of us doing our best, some days more challenging than others, the balance of everyone’s mental state and emotional fragility at stake.
Today: a drug has shown to improve outcomes and is expected to be approved by the FDA to be used in treatment of the coronavirus. I checked my retirement account. Bad idea. A Walmart in central Massachusetts was shut down because nearly two dozen employees were sick. The total number of deaths due to the virus is expected to rise, as models show large numbers of unexpected deaths across many states.
Right now, official counts are:
3.2 million cases worldwide
228,000 deaths worldwide
1.06 million cases in the U.S.
61,000 U.S. deaths.
60,000 cases in Massachusetts
3,400 Massachusetts deaths
167 cases in our town
Boston Globe headline: “Massachusetts cites highest single-day death toll since outbreak began.”
Tomorrow is spaghetti and veggie “meat”balls for dinner. Salad, maybe bread. Easy. And everyone likes it. I’m on a roll this week with crowd-pleasing meals.
Stay safe, everyone.