Days 38 & 39
It’s Tuesday night, and the past two days have felt as close to normal as I’ve felt since we all became captives of our own homes. Yesterday I had a successful if expensive trip to the grocery store to restock our refrigerator and pantry. I may have overdone it. We will be well fed for quite a while, that’s for sure.
The news is still devastating, and when I pause to think about how long it will be until we really get anything close to normal back for more than a blink of days, I find myself with a lump in my throat, literally unable to swallow the truth. I can’t bring myself to consider the possibility — as some projections show — that we could be faced with a more severe outbreak next winter. How could it be worse instead of better, if we all do what we need to be doing now? If we have scientists and research and a will to make things better?
I literally can’t spend more time on that thought right now.
Today we spent the day together as a family. I took the day off of work, and we celebrated one of us, one who is private and doesn’t want details shared. And that is OK by me. It was a nice day, despite downpours and plans that had to be put on hold. There were homemade cinnamon buns. Gifts. Laughter. Fancy donuts featuring my favorite infectious disease specialist (and yours, I hope), Dr. Anthony Fauci! Games. Surprise visits. Tacos. (It is Tuesday, after all.) Cake.
Surprise donuts delivered by Sarah to the end of our driveway. Look closely.
It was a nice day. And I am choosing not to focus on the the fact that it was not the day we had planned it would be.
Still, I haven’t recorded numbers in two days. And the headline that keeps catching my eye is the one that tells me how much the numbers aren’t showing, the thousands of deaths that aren’t accounted for. Current, official numbers are:
Total worldwide cases: More than 2.5 million
Total worldwide deaths: More than 177,000
U.S. cases: More than 818,000
U.S. deaths: More than 45,000
A few of today’s nytimes.com article titles: “How to Handwash Your Clothes,” “How to Manage Your Loneliness,” “Helping Teens Make Room for Uncomfortable Emotions.”
Also, some states are beginning to reopen, indicating to those of us paying attention to the science that we know where the next hot spots likely will be.
The biggest news of the day, though, was the official word that Massachusetts schools are now closed for the remainder of the year. I received this information fairly neutrally. I expected it. Still, it’s not easy to make sense of. The kids have been out of school for more than five weeks. Eight more until the end of the school year. And then what? Will they have a summer? Will we be able to go swimming, camping? Will we be able to hang out with our family? When and how often do we face these questions and the uncertainty that every day brings?
Back to work tomorrow. That is, back to my desk, around the corner from my bedroom. Weird.
Stay safe, everyone.