Saturday, March 28 & Sunday, March 29

All weekend I took notes about what I would write, how I would start this post. I had plenty of opportunities to pop open the computer, settle in, write for as long as I wanted or needed. But what I really needed was a break from the computer. After a week of nearly full-time Zoom meetings and the rest of my workdays spent looking at this screen, I needed to not open the laptop. I needed to step away .

Our days are measured more than ever by what we eat. Meals. Snacks. Tonight: Mushroom risotto. Yesterday morning, eggs: three omelets, three scrambled eggs, three fried eggs. That’s 15 eggs for five people. Fifteen eggs, made three ways. It’s what I can do. It’s one thing I can do, make everyone eggs of their choice for breakfast on a Saturday morning when we don’t have to rush the 14-year-old off to ballet class and rehearsal. When there is no baseball practice and the errands we need to do we don’t need to do badly enough. We can wait another day or two to buy milk, veggies, more eggs.

Sometime in the past week my 11-year-old has started doing her own ponytail, the style that she wears everyday. There is an obvious irony here — as I am home all the time. Usually, normally, she gets up on school days shortly before I leave for work so I can do her ponytail. Perhaps it’s not the ponytail she needs as much as to give me a hug. Now, there are a lot of hugs.

I finished my 21st and 22nd books of the year this weekend. After the first 10 days or so at home I regained my ability to read, although I am definitely choosing books requiring a lighter lift. Yesterday I read Katherine Center’s “Things You Save in a Fire.” It was just what I needed. Easy reading but not too fluffy. Predictable and also satisfying. A strong female protagonist. A book that I stayed up to finish, not turning off the light until after midnight. The book brought me some normalcy. Staying up late reading? That’s me in four words.

The stats: This weekend the numbers have grown and grown. Today the president extended the timeframe for social distancing through April 30. Right now, on Sunday night, 48 hours after I wrote my last post, The New York Times reports:

• Worldwide cases: 670,000

• U.S. cases: 135,000

• New York cases: almost 60,000

• New York deaths: 1,000

A family member who is a nurse is living through the one mask per 13-hour shift reality, a mask that is then sterilized to be worn again. (And again?)

I wasn’t able to go out for a walk today. It’s been raining all day. No one got outside. With more days of rain in the forecast, I am anticipating a tough week. My kids are bored, antsy, worried, sad. I am much the same but trying to put a smile on my face as much as possible. I know we are lucky. So lucky compared to so many people, so many families.

Sunday nights are always hard. Heading into a new week, never feeling quite ready for all of the busy days to come. Now, tonight, I feel the same internal discomfort. But not because we are facing a busy week and I need to plan what nights are Crock-Pot dinners because we all be going in different directions in the evenings. Tonight I feel a kind of slight dread because we are facing another week of nothing. School and work from home. Not enough.

Stay safe, everyone.