View from a bench. Respite during a walk.
Wednesday, March 18
When he was a toddler, my son referred to pinecones as “pinebones.” I thought about this today when I was out for my daily walk. I left the paved path and ventured into the woods, following the sound of the stream nearby. The ground was covered in pinecones. I couldn’t avoid them. And I thought of that blonde, curly-haired boy and the year that he spent being cared for one day each week by a close friend of mine. They spent so much time in nature. I saw him squatting in that way that toddlers can, seemingly for hours and without any discomfort, picking up sticks and rocks and pinebones, exploring the details of the world around him. Today, he is taller than I am, and the parts of his story that I will share are only the parts of his story that are more mine. But it doesn’t take much for my mind to skip back in time to when my son was an only child, precocious in language, teaching me every day what it was to become a parent just as he was learning what it was to be him.
Tonight I was planning to try a new recipe. One of the main ingredients was white beans. Pivot. No white beans. This is not a circumstance related to the coronavirus quarantine situation we find ourselves in. This is typical mom. Thinking I know what is in our pantry, planning a meal around it, only to find that we ate those FILL IN THE BLANK already. Honestly, it happens all the time. Usually I get frustrated with myself. Today I literally shrugged it off. Right now there are potatoes boiling on the stove. Cauliflower poppers in the oven. We are having a white dinner, apparently. It’s a little low on protein, but I’m going with it.
During those toddler years I learned to measure nutrition against what the kids would eat during an entire week rather than one day. Sometimes they’d each eat a quart of strawberries for a snack. Vitamin C for the week! Sometimes they’d only eat bread and pasta for two days. It all evened out. I’m channeling my inner toddler mom right now. Pinebones and a white dinner.
I’ve been in a lot of Zoom meetings over the past two days, and it feels like a lot longer than two days. I am grateful for technology, and that for me working from home is possible and not a hardship. But I’m exhausted by the sitting. My office is on the third floor, and I get a lot of flights in on a usual day. That in addition to popping into colleagues’ offices and walking to a meeting in a building on the other side of campus. Today I sat for more than three hours straight. I also didn’t drink enough water, because I hadn’t set up my desktop water bottle. Tomorrow I will be a healthier home worker.
I haven’t watched any news today. Sarah filled me in a bit, and I’ll go to the New York Times, CNN, and likely Twitter before bed. But I’m feeling a little raw by all of the information, at how much there is, at how often it changes. I’m trying to remember that I can look away and still be informed enough.
So far we are healthy, we think. Two of the kids have had what we are pretty sure are colds. No fevers. No coughs. Very mild sniffles and a few sneezes. I’m sure they all are annoyed at how frequently their dad and I are asking how they are feeling. Oh well.
Stay safe, everyone.